A letter to parents

Parenthood… It’s a blessing…A blessing that comes with responsibilities, patience, sacrifice, pain, happiness, stress and much more. And not everyone is blessed with it.You may question how a person with zero experience in parenthood can talk about it.I am not going to write about how a person should raise their kids…. Following points need to be considered while parenting and I believe every parent should be aware of . These are the things that I went through, that I have seen happening around me and I believe,

it needs to be written.So here it goes…
Parents – First teachers :-
You might be paying hundreds and thousands of rupees as your child’s school & college fees. They would be teaching only what are in the books but not life lessons. They need passionate teachers in their life to teach life lessons & nothing beats parents and home in helping them learn those lessons.
Time – Most precious thing that never comes back:-
In present day, there is a mad rush everywhere and I always wonder why. Everyone doesn't have time because they are too busy doing something or the other. Sometimes they don’t get the time to spend with their own kids. Growing up, my parents didn't spend much time with me. Actually can’t blame them…all they wanted was a secured life and future for me. In this process, I was left to figure out many things in my life by myself. Maybe if we could have spent some time together I would have been a different person. Spending time with your kids helps you understand their problems hence shape their personality.
Good touch & Bad touch-A lesson to be taught:-
Many things that are considered taboo in our society are the things that actually needs to spoken about. I was never taught about this. It is over the years, from the articles that I have read & from people I knew that this is happening on a wide scale and that the person who touched them inappropriately was not a stranger…but he/her was family or relative/close friend. It doesn't matter if you have a son, teach him too. Because someone might simply be waiting for a chance to exploit him.
Comparison ?- Not a good idea:-
Imagine this, you are being compared with a colleague or neighbor or a cousin or some other person with the salary that you earn or the assets that you own or if someone questions your efforts does it hurt? It does, right? Imagine your child going through the same. Why do you want to kill their joy and happiness? Why do you want to instill low self-esteem and self-doubt in them at an early age? Instead of comparing, help them understand about self-improvement. Think about it.
Gender Discrimination: A horrifying experience-stop it:-
I have seen this lot and I am not sure if this is quite common in Indian households. They do make sure that the son gets every amenity that they can provide and believe that their daughters don’t deserve. They want their sons to be well-educated & get a good job but they ask their daughters to learn household chores only to impress their daughter’s future in-laws. And the irony is these girls might be at an age where they don’t understand the meaning of marriage. So please treat your sons and daughters as equals.
Aura of your home-it matters:-
My most beautiful memory that I have while growing up was my dad telling me their love story and my dad used to sing and dance for my mother. Theirs was an arranged marriage but my dad knew that my mom was the one when he first saw her picture. He is a terrible dancer and singer but my mom loves it. I grew up seeing this and I strongly believe in the magic of love. But not every child goes through such beautiful experiences. I have known families in which husband abuses his wife & vice versa in front of their kids not considering the bad impact it will have on their kids. The same kids either end up being abusive or completely calm unable to fit in. 
Also. the absurd things that I hear are He/She has a problem? Get them married. Their marriage isn’t working? Have a child. Having a child will not solve your issue. Consult a marriage counsellor or a therapist. Don’t ruin a child’s life by bringing them into an unhappy house.
Teach them the value of money:-
There are parents out there who fulfill each and every wish (Ex:asking for a brand new toy that costs thousands of bucks or that expensive dress which won’t be worn by them more than once),of their kids not knowing that they are actually spoiling them and sometimes it simply doesn’t end there and becomes a lifelong issue. Few might say, “When we are around, our kids don’t have to suffer or all their wishes needs to be fulfilled”. Remember your child is just your prince/princess & not everyone else’s. Don’t fall in the trap when they put up a tantrum. Fulfilling there necessities is good but spending money on their illogical demands is bad.
Perfection-Don’t obsess over it:-
There is always pressure to have perfection in everything they do. Pressure is acceptable but only to a certain extent. In the pressure a having perfect child, who is perfectly well-mannered don’t ruin their childhood. If he is a 3-year-old, then let him be a 3-year-old. Don’t teach him the mannerism of a 10-year-old.
Let them fall, let them make mistakes because it is only then that they learn about different aspects of life.
Don’t pressurize your kid/child asking them too much on getting good marks because marks doesn’t decide how smart or talented they are.
Teach them to live rather than survive:-
In today’s world, because of the cut throat competition we have the pressure is too much. In the process of making sure that their kids, get an admission in best schools & colleges and to get placed in a good company parents actually overlook the fact that their kids need to learn more than how to get a job. Everything a child does is simply analyzed on how that helps in their future. Please don’t forget that the present is the only thing that you can be sure of and don’t take away that present from them.If she wants to dance,let her dance. If he wants to paint,let him paint. Let them know the true meaning of living. Teach them to live in the moment,to live in “now”.
Parents need to teach their kids on how to take feedback:-
Parents raise their children by making them believe that they are the best,that they cannot fail, that they are born to succeed in life. It is good only if they are making them aware of the chances of failing, the chances of getting rejected. In school or college or at work, if a feedback is given to them pointing at their mistakes, they find it hard it to accept it. They are find it hard to believe that they can make mistakes, they can fail.

These are just few points and not everyone might agree with me. I completely disagree with the fact that a person becomes an abuser, a rapist, a sociopath, a murderer etc in a single day. They are not born that way. It is the circumstances that they have been through that shaped them into who they are. And before it is too late, “parents” can change things.
Love,
Solitaire Words.